this is just something that makes the english language so hard to teach...
ENGLISH
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If
you've learned to speak fluent English, you must
be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely
language we share is only for the brave. Peruse
at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to
learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about
how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does
are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got
number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed
a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in ham-
burger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France (Surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't
ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So
one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is
it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what
does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send
cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it
burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling
it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
ENGLISH
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If
you've learned to speak fluent English, you must
be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely
language we share is only for the brave. Peruse
at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to
learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in
the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass
drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about
how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does
are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got
number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed
a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in ham-
burger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France (Surprise!).
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are
square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't
ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So
one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is
it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what
does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play
and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send
cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it
burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling
it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human race,
which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
when the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
This entry was posted by kaz, on
月曜日, 1月 24, 2005.
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